Update:

Jena is 9 days old today! I figured I'd give an update post....


I've been superbusy lately. A lot goes on in between trying to find my happy place so I can use the bathroom, and trying to find a happy place so I could pump milk. I wasn't allowed to breastfeed Jena for a while so we could keep track of how much food she was getting due to her Jaundice and weighloss. So I was spending most of my hours by on the pump which I nicknamed [not affectionately] Darth Vader. That's all over now and I'm spending 30 minutes with the pump instead of 80 or more minutes. I'm surprised she didn't get confused between me and the bottle. It was hard. She wouldn't eat from the bottle if I was in the room. And she wasn't happy with me carrying her either so I had to let daddy have her for a while. That was hard.. not letting him have her, but not being able to carry her. We agreed I could breastfeed her at night. So I was sad during the day but waking her up diligently at night so I could see her.

So, about the delivery... all the details YOU wanna hear [note the sarcasm!].

The delivery was quite comical. I spend the night of the 2nd in the hospital on observation. The doctors switched off about 7am. The new doctor came in with a "dilemma." He told me there was a 5% chance her lungs could be undeveloped. So I asked him what the risks would be if I went home and he told me there's a high chance I would have seizures. So I said I guess we're having a baby today. I called my husband who was on his way to work shortly after 7:30am. They checked me and I was still 4-5cm. They hooked up 3 of the 5 IV's and told me they'd start the pitocin in a few hours. I had been having irregular contractions all night 10-15 minutes apart. About 9am they started me on pitocin. Around 10am, the contractions were so painful and rough but I kept feeling like I had to go to the bathroom so they let me go but while I was in the bathroom I realized, I didn't have to go to the bathroom. The feeling I was having was the need to have a baby. So while in the bathroom I debated on whether or not to tell them I was feeling like I needed to push. That was a 30 minute decision right there!

I decided not to tell them, the first words out of my mouth when I left the bathroom was "Epidural." I felt her head just coming down on it's own but I kept my mouth shut and opted to almost break the rails on the bed instead. I was almost in tears when the nurse said they be in the room in around 10 minutes. I don't know how I held THAT together or managed to stay perfectly still. It was horrible. Hats off to the women who do it naturally. I was about ready to do it naturally at that point. He came in, they sat me up, which was the most pain I think I've been in in my entire life. I was sitting on her head! I was crying VERY hard at that point. They made Jon go sit down in the back of of the room. He closed his eyes and ears. Which is good b/c I was crying really hard. The epidural made me itch so badly, I thought I was going to rip my skin off. And as for pain, it made my legs tingle the whole time. Which took my mind off the pain. Whatever drugs were in it made me drowsy and everything else from before wore me out. I fell asleep... well, not really. I passed out. I'm lucky the doctor was in another delivery or I wouldn't have gotten my epidural. I know I was at least 9 if not 10cm. When I woke up, my husband was watching Home Improvement so I told him to go to lunch. While he was at lunch the doctor came in and checked me. He had told the nurse to do it a few times and she never did. So he checked me and said "You're ready to go." So, I called Jon. He was across the street so he came right over...

1pm- They raised the bed.... put my legs in the stirrups, made my husband assume the position of holding my legs. Me holding my thighs. I pushed two times... then you wouldn't believe what happened.... no, I didn't have a baby. My uterus stopping contracting. So, there I was in a bed, doctor between my legs. Husband on my right, nurse on my left. Having a casual conversation with everyone. Telling jokes waiting for my uterus to contract. Yes, that's right. Telling Jokes, quoting Henry Cho and Bill Cosby. Every so often giving a push when my uterus agreed with us. Finally after a total of 26 minutes and 5 contractions Jena was here!


Jokes told in the delivery room:

"The mask should go here [over the eyes] not here [over the mouth]"-- Henry Cho

Husband: "The doctor just sits there like Johnny Bench"-- Bill Cosby
Doctor: "So should I get a chair and sit down."
me: "As long as you don't forget to catch, I don't care what you do!"

Doctor: Who's going to cut the cord
Husband: Not me! I already did it once.
Me: I don't care WHO cuts the cord. The janitor can cut it for all I care, just cut it!

Me: Can someone get this kid out of me?
Doctor: We're waiting on you.
Me: That's impossible. She would've been here the day I found out I was pregnant.
Doctor: Fine, we're waiting on your uterus.

Me: What kind of delivery is this?
Doctor: Not your typical one that's for sure.
Husband: Why couldn't the first one be like this?


There were a lot more but I don't think anyone could possibly understand them unless they were there! I kept telling everyone she'd have pretty brown eyes because if I say it enough, it'll happen. So finally when she was born, everyone was over there trying to see her eyes. I was wrong though. They're blue. She looks just like her sister did when she was born. I don't care, I'm glad she's here. I'm glad it's over. I'm happy to not be pregnant. Now, my girls have a life long friend... I've never had a sister but I'm glad my little girls have one.

The first picture is my of my first daughter, Lanie the day she was born. The second is Jena the day she was born.

Another picture of Jena:



I haven't decided what to do with this blog yet. I know I'm keeping it but not posting in it anymore since my 9 months are over. I'll let everyone know where I'm going. I'm back on Livejournal for sure but I'll definitely keep one public one. Thanks to everyone who's read, commented, emailed, etc. Blogging my life while pregnant (twice) has been interesting and a pleasure. A pleasure that I'm happy to end.

A baby is just the size of a hug....

Jena Nicole---
January 3rd, 2007
7lbs, 9ozs
19inches
1:26pm

That's my second sweetie. I was having blood pressure problems so I went in on the 2nd just to get a blood pressure check. I didn't trust the monitor I was using at home since it kept giving me weird results. So I went in, and they admitted me. The doctor on call that night didn't want to do anything but monitor me since my induction was scheduled for Saturday anyway. The doctor that came in the next morning decided we should induce b/c my blood pressure was going up and down and all I was doing was laying around all night. He figured if I went home to chase after Lanie, the chance of me having a seizure was high. So, we started to induce around 9:00am. Jena was here at 1:26pm. As soon as they gave me pitocin, I dilated quickly. I was in so much pain. They didn't even check me before giving me the epidural but I was sure I was at least 9cm, if not 10 by then because I felt like I was sitting on her head and really needed to push. They gave me the epidural and the doctor checked me a little while later and I was 10cm and the baby has already mostly down in the birth canal but dh was out getting lunch. So we waited for him.... and 5 pushes later, and she was here. It hurts, I'm glad I haven't had hernia surgery yet. I need to recover from this first. But we're all home, we're all healthy and we're all very happy.

Happy New Year!

Christmas in our house was good. New Years was uneventful... but uneventful is better than bad, right? I hope everyone's holidays went well.

My phone has been ringing off the hook with the "million dollar" question:

"Are you still pregnant?"

Yes!! It's driving me insane but I'm still pregnant. I'm the size of a bus and it's no fun at all right now. I'm ready for it to be over. My horomones are off the wall, and just about anything can make me cry. My face has broken out so obviously things have changed as the end approaches. The doctors have sent me to start doing NST's. My mom has traveled here to stay with us for a while. And we're still trying to figure out whether I can do the hernia surgery or not. I'm not working anywhere anymore, so soon I'll be getting laid off unemployment for the next couple of months.

So, this is my last little post before Jena comes. We've scheduled her birthday for January 6th. It's set in stone, and I'm registered. (Assuming she doesn't come on her own before then.) At my last doctors check up, I was 5Cm. So, I've been trying not to expect anything to happen, but it's hard. I'm on pins and needles. My blood pressure is high, a nurse told me to call my doctor on New Years Eve but I decided it wasn't THAT bad. And hopefully will hold off until the 6th. Saturday is a much better date for our schedule. And that's it... the next post will be a birth story!

Latest Pregnancy Cravings:
Sushi
Mexican
Twinkies
Chocolate
Hot dogs
Jerky
Potato chips


Song addictions during pregnancy:
Elton John-- Crocodile Rock, Your Song, Written in the Stars, I'm still Standing, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road
The Fray-- the whole album
Incubus-- Paper Shoes
Kaddisfly-- Silk Road, Mercury
Snow Patrol-- Chasing Cars, Run
Oh My God-- December, Get Steady, all the songs on their latest EP
George Strait-- Christmas Cookies

Pregnancy Nicknames:
For me-- T-Rex, Shamu, Mobile home, Temporary housing, beached whale, big foot

For Jena-- Jenabee, littlest bug, bug 2, baby bunny

Commonly used pregnancy phrases:

"Put that thing away!"-- Jon when my tummy was exposed

"Hey honey, can you roll me off the side of the bed please?" -- Me when I needed to get off of our incredibly high bed.

"I've got to find the path of least resistence." -- Me trying to get up but the belly is so big it cancels out the use of my thighs.

"Oh boy... that's definitely a waddle."-- you guessed it.. me again!

"I need a Vicky day.. so I can feel less like a beast and more like a human." -- me

"Oh my God, I've got CANKLES!"-- me

This isn't a phrase but whenever something was extremely sad or extremely happy somehow my hand would make a waving motion towards my face. My daughter even mimics this now!


Dumb things I've said while pregnant:

Me: "What the heck, this book is so unrealistic!"
Jon-- "Honey, it's a fantasy book!"

[1:01 left ticking on the clock]
Hockey Announcer: "there are 61 seconds left...."
Me: "No, there is 1 minute and 1 second left, dumbass!"
Jon: "Honey, think about it..."
Me: "Oh.. that IS 61 seconds! Guess I'm the dumbass."

[I was upstairs laying in bed, and jon was up and down the stairs]
Me: "Honey, what are you doing?"
Jon: "Baxter brought up some food so I'm cleaning it up."
Me: "Oh, well maybe we should bring him a food and water dish up here so he won't have to carry the food all the way up the stairs just to eat it."
Jon: "No honey, he didn't bring HIS food UP the stairs.... he threw up his food."
Me: "...oh, nevermind then."

[Late sunday night, after dead zone came on. About an hour after taking 2 tylenol pm]
Jon: I'm gonna go cut my hair, will you do the back for me?
Me: Sure.. get me when you need me.... [ he swears a few minutes later]
Jon: Wake up...Are you going to come help me? Me: Is it with the dishes?


That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there's more. Hopefully this will all go smoothly! And the next few days will rush by quickly. And seeing as though I'm dilated, lets hope the induction and delivery will go by quickly with no problems.

Thanks for the support from everyone through emails when blogger comments won't let you post, and through phone calls!!

Conversations with a best friend...

My friends are amazing. We don't really have time to talk often but somehow they "know" when I need them. They don't really get too nosey. They just call to say hi or send a friendly email. It's great to have support. Especially since I'm the only one of my friends who has children. Sometimes it feels like I'm out of the loop, and I am. On to the point... I have 1 very best friend that I email frequently, in fact, daily. She emails me during her work hours. Nothing too complicated, just short emails that are a few sentences long... about 5-10x a day. The other day I was updating her on my doctor appointment and we were having trouble with our emails but they made it through and the conversation went like this...

Me to her:
Email sucks sometimes! I'm 3 CM dilated! The doctor told me last week I was 1cm, but I was actually only half that. She just miss spoke.. so in one week, I went from .5 to 3cm. They don't expect me to last much longer but they want her to stay in there for at least 5 more days. If she comes before then, they won't stop it, she just may have to spend a couple of days in the NICU which... I don't want. So here's hoping for 5 more days!!

Her reply:
Ooh, crossing fingers! But it is mighty exciting. I can't wait to see her! I still can't believe Lanie was ever in there. It's like she just appeared by magic.

Of course, you having been the one pushing her out, probably don't feel the same way... ; )


My reply:
No, it does feel that way. When you're pregnant, yeah the baby is in there. You see it on a computer... you feel it move... but then you HAVE the baby and it's like out of no where there is a new life that's totally your responsibility. After I delivered her, she was the only thing I could think about... I couldn't even think about what I had just gone through, or what I was about to go through. I just needed her. It's a different feeling that's for sure. So, I feel like you do... she just appeared out of no where. It's a lot like losing my dad, only opposite. He was just here and then he just disappeared. It's hard to think about life that way, but it's true.


Her reply:
You know, you put it exactly right. Death is like a sad magic trick. Babies are like a happy one. I guess that's where the balance lies.

Maybe that's kind of the cosmic way it works. It was your Dad's time to go, but God wanted you to have this wonderful child to sort of take his place in a way. Hmm.

My reply:
Maybe so... who really knows? It's something that's hard to deal with. I think I definitely wouldn't have handled it so well if Lanie wasn't here. She made me grow up, and she made me not sulk around. Kind of like how when you're busy, you don't think about your troubles as much. It's left me open for some low times when I'm not as busy but it's definitely not as bad as it could've been. People constantly see children and being pregnant as a burden but it's really a blessing in disguise. Life will never be the same but I think when it involves children, it's a good thing. (Depending on the parents and situation too.)

****************************

It really is amazing how quickly life changes. People are in and out of our lives, sometimes by choice and other times, not. Until this conversation, I never realized how fast it really happened. How quickly my daughters birth came and went.... How quickly my dad disappeared, from the moment I fell to my knees when I found out he died, to the moment he was put in the ground and thereafter. It just seems like those hours weren't actually hours. They were nano seconds of time. They're in no way insignificant but I guess the passing of time tends to make seconds shorter. I guess that's how the pain is somehow dulled with time.

This time of year is hard. It's my second Christmas without my dad and my second Christmas with my family. The memories of past Christmas' are back. Christmas' that were lax and rather unsentimental come rushing back to me. My family doesn't have "traditions." The holidays came and went and we each did our own thing. Opened presents at midnight...most of the time we already knew what we were getting and the presents were just wrapped to fill the bottom of the tree. My mom always cried on Christmas because my dad was suffering and couldn't enjoy the holidays. We couldn't buy him anything... what do you buy a man who can't move, enjoy food, drink, friends... anything? I believe his best gift was given to him by me a few years ago. I got him a memory foam leg separator. His legs were locked together at the knees. The next year... I was told that he loved it so much, he wanted another one, just in case it doesn't return to it's shape at some point in time. I got him another, but he didn't live long enough to use it. So, his life hurt everyone, not only him. It's like that depression hurts commercial. And his death somehow still hurts everyone. I see it all around me, and even in myself sometimes. But with that, comes the hope of seeing my children have happy and great holidays filled with traditions, not pains. I can't wait until they're old enough to know what Christmas is. I can't wait until they're eager to talk to Santa. I can't wait to bake cookies with them, and watch Christmas movies that I never really watched growing up.


I wish everyone the Merriest Christmas this year! Hug your family, especially your parents. If they're not in hugging range, give them a call. Even if you're currently not getting along. Take it from someone who knows... time goes by very quickly.

Not much longer!

They have in my record that I was .5cm, not 1 cm. The doctor just said it wrong. But that's fine because in the last week I went from .5cm to 3cm. I guess the contractions are really working. I'm 100% effaced so I can't possibly thin out anymore. It's weird. It's surprisingly early to be started so quickly. They told me not to travel because I could pop at any minute. I've been calling Jena my lil butterball, or my lil turkey. I think she's cooked. She's an estimated 6lbs right now. God help me if I go to my due date... she'll probably end up being 10lbs!



Belly shot:




I'm looking forward to a quiet uneventful Christmas. With breakfast at Grams on the 23... I guess I can't be with my mom on the 24th. :o( And Christmas with my in-laws. Hopefully, I will get lots and lots of sleep. That's what I want for Christmas.

18 days left~!

At my last appointment, they informed me that at any moment they could tell me to go deliver her b/c of the thyroid imbalance and blood pressure. That's freaky for me. We changed our date to January 6th so the doctor I want to deliver her will be working. Plus, it's a weekend. I like that. I still haven't packed my hospital bag yet... What am I thinking?! It should've been placed in the car at least a week ago. I got some stuff out for Jena when she's in the hospital. I need to get them washed. I finally picked up some baby detergent a couple of days ago so I better get cracking on that tonight. My aunt sent me a lot of useful things. She has four children so she knows all about it!


Now onto pregnancy stuff before I forget...

Current Cravings:
Sushi (still, I know!)
Steak
Tacos (it doesn't end, I swear!)
Cinnobun (yummm!)
Walnuts, Almonds, Cashews, Pecans and pistachios
Chocolate... any kind at this point!
Something my mom makes, I won't attempt to put it on here, you won't know what it is but it's yummy and vegetarian!


Pregnancy pains (aside from feeling like a beached whale):
Back contractions every hours
Harriet
Swollen feet
Always cold
always tired

Things I wonder:
Will she really look like Lanie when she's born?

Will she follow the same growth as Lanie? Even though Lanie wasn't premmature she was behind in her clothing sizes. She wore Premmie for her first 3 months, 0-3 for her 3-6 and so on. She's 20 months now and still wears 12 months.

Will she sleep a lot like Lanie? Will she be more tempermental and demanding? Or will she be quiet?

Can I handle two young children?

Will her eyes be blue, or brown?

So many questions that will all be answered soon enough!

My Aunt, Uncle and their 4 kids are coming down for Christmas. I'm hoping I don't have the baby before then so I can make the trip to my moms house to see them and meet her twin sons for the first time. That would be nice. I still need a couple of things for Christmas, which I hope to get finished by Thursday at the latest. Nothing serious, all easy stuff. It just involves going to a mall. Something I REALLY don't want to do b/c it's gigantic and I really don't feel like walking that much. Thank goodness for the expectant mothers parking spots!

It's weird... every post I make could be my last post before Jena comes. I wanted my last post with Lanie to be a song but she was very unexpected so I'm going to take that song and put it here... for both of my children. It's been in my head for a long time and I love the song. My husband already wants to break the cd but oh well... it's one of my favorites.


Elton John-- Blessed

Hey you, you're a child in my head
You haven't walked yet
Your first words have yet to be said
But I swear you'll be blessed

I know you're still just a dream
your eyes might be green
Or the bluest that I've ever seen
Anyway you'll be blessed

And you, you'll be blessed
You'll have the best
I promise you that
I'll pick a star from the sky
Pull your name from a hat
I promise you that, promise you that, promise you that
You'll be blessed

I need you before I'm too old
To have and to hold
To walk with you and watch you grow
And know that you're blessed

12/17/05

We just reached our one year wedding anniversary! After my dad died, I decided I didn't want to have a big wedding. I started searching the internet for ideas and I came across a wonderful place in the mountains that did weddings for two. It felt right. I showed Jon. I booked it. I got a dress, a babysitter... and we spend a romantic weekend together to tie the knot. Here are pictures... Ahh.. memory lane. For me.. this was the perfect wedding.

Our wedding:










My something borrowed and my something blue:



My hair:




The Sunday Morning view from our cabin



One year down.... Forever and a day to go. ;o)

1 CM! 9 left!

Blogger has been funny lately with letting people comment and post. I've had quite a few problems posting.. which is why there are less posts. If it doesn't work on the 3rd try, I give up. So thank you for the emails! I got them all. I appreciate it!


Ok, so I went to my appointment yesterday. Lanie was a huge distraction. She kept trying to get into their trash cans. I don't let her play in our trash... what makes her think she can play in the trash at the Ob/Gyn where I'm sure theres some disease sitting in there somewhere!! So she had to be put in time out. Everyone else seemed to love her. She didn't want to leave... she's grown quite fond of one of the nurses there but oh well. I'm 1cm.. 9 more to go! No weight gain at all since my last two appointments. They haven't said anything to me yet. My blood pressure is up... I've got blueish swollen feet, and I've been seeing stars. All signs of Toxemia so I explained to them that I've had a rough night with little sleep and a rough day (my car wouldn't start when I was leaving). So said I have one week to fix things, otherwise, they'll have me deliver. I'm still not ready. My hospital bag isn't packed STILL. The car seat has only been added in one car so far. Her room is all decorated but the infant toys need sorting through. The diaper holder needs filled. The wipes warmer needs to be on and filled... Geez... I need a nap just thinking about those things!


So, I decided to post some pictures since I've been saying I would. I don't have a new belly shot and didn't upload my old one so here are the 4d's of our new little girl:

She's already got a rough life.. she looks like her daddy! ;o) j/k honey!





See, she's already proving how hard her life is...





This one is my first daughter Lanie when we did her 4d:



And this is her 18 months after she was born:



Is it sad that I picked up Lanie's 2nd birthday party items, and have started planning that, yet my hospital stuff isn't ready AT ALL? Boy do I feel pathetic now. That's all I have time for, hope you enjoy the pictures!

9 Months...

I'm 9 months pregnant. This is it! 4 more ob/gyn appointments for me and it's over. My last endocrinology appointment until delivery was supposed to be last week, but my test results for my thyroid aren't going well. I'm being sent to do more labwork and will now have weekly appointments with them and 2 weekly lab trips. I'll see my nutritionist one more time before this is over for my post-partum diet plan. I'm anxious to see if it's any different than last time since I'll probably be having hernia surgery. I think my doctor forgot to order my NST's! That makes me happy. I really don't wanna be strapped to a bed for 30 minutes just to hear the baby is okay when I already know she is. She's parked on my hernia...been parked there for weeks now. She makes doing anything nearly impossible, especially working. I'm not sure how I'm still doing both jobs. Looks like they'll both end around the same time... which is great. Means I can do the laid off unemployment option, which I like. It means money will still be coming into my bank account. Sounds good to me!


Pregnancy wise, I'm soooo tired. I'm in a lot of pain even when I'm not moving. I have strong cravings for things but most of the time my eyes are bigger than my stomach. A kids meal seems to do me in so much that I need to sleep afterward. But I'm trying to keep eating b/c last time I stopped and ended up in the hospital. It's amazing that I've gone this long without a hospital stay! I'm so happy about that. So far, we're going for January 8th as her birthday. It will probably be just me and Jon at the hospital. If my mom makes it here, she'll watch Lanie. We haven't talked about other arrangements yet. My friend Angela offered to watch her. But we don't know how long it'll take this time so we'll talk to her grams and gramps to see what options we have with them and their work schedules. We'd have to leave them one of our cars incase they need to go somewhere or put the car seat in their car and show them how to use it. Guess we better let them practice. It took us some work to learn to get her in!

Cravings:
Steak
Sushi
Taco
chocolate
jelly beans (only Jelly Belly)


Here's my birth plan:
Get to the hospital and get her out safely!!
No forceps, no vaccum.
Water and gum.
If anyone that isn't a nurse or a doctor wants to come in, ask first. (Didn't have a problem with that last time)
No happy peppy coaching from the nurses. (happened last time)

Reflections of the first birth experience (long story just for journaling purpose, no need to read unless you want to):

Getting this far along makes me remember the day Lanie came into the world. I went to my last prenatal appointment on April 7th. I wasn't going to go because I was checked at my NST on the 6th and saw no point and felt no change after not even 24hrs. But I somehow got up from a nap 10 minutes before the appointment and dragged myself there. The doctor came in, looked at me. Checked the terrible swelling that I had and told me that there's a good chance the placenta could rupture with my blood pressure being so high. She said "GO to the hospital right now. We're not allowed to give you your record but we're going to anyway. They've already called in a direct admit. Take it there now. No pit stops." I was in shock.. glad I took a bath. But still wanted to shave and put make up on. (I know I'm weird.) I wanted to know if I could call Jon. They told me they'd do it and I just gave her a funky look and she said "Right, I understand. Do you have cell phone so you can call on your way." I told I did and walked out to 4 or 5 nurses handing me my records and things I needed. I got to my car and sat down trying to think of his work phone number when his grandma called to ask how my appointment went. I answered, we talked for a minute when I said "I have to stop you.. I'm having the baby today and I need to let Jon know." She got excited, she was the first to know so I asked her not to tell anyone until I told Jon. Then after that, she can tell anyone she wants. Called Jon. It was about 11:00am, so I called my mom's house. My dad answered. I told him his granddaughter was coming but I didn't tell him about the health risk. It's amazing how well parents can know their children... he knew always knew when there was a problem, but I lied and said I was fine. He told my mom was sleeping and to keep calling the house.. he wouldn't answer until she got up. I knew she couldn't have been sleeping.. the phones in the house are too loud to sleep through. So I said I'd try her cell then call the house again. He told me he loved me and that everything will be fine. I said "I love you too. I'll talk to you later." Those were the last words I spoke to him when he was alive.
I called my mom's cell, she answered and told me she'd be there the next day. I went in, Jon came and checked on me. Then went home to get some things. After that it was like a dream. I was on magnesium so I felt like I had the flu and slept through most of it. It was around 12hrs later they told me to push. 5hrs after that... Lanie was born at 4:23am. As quickly as they put her on my chest, they whisked her away. She didn't cry or let out many sounds. They gave her back... then took her again. I started shaking really hard uncontrollably. They delivered my placenta. Gave me 30 stitches and told me to try to rest because I had to spend 24hrs in the delivery room since I was on too much medication. Since that day, I found it impossible to rest without her. I was so tired but kept waking up every 30 minutes to see if they brought her back. They finally brought her back to me at 8am. Jon brought me a picture before then. My mom came in shortly afterward. My life since that day has never been more rewarding.
*********************************

There's still so much to do. Finish cleaning the car, add a car seat. Pack the hospital bag (I procrastinated!). I can't wait... I can't wait to feel better, have my body back... get rid of the scalp problems, acne, carpel tunnel, leg cramps, backaches, HERNIA! But most of all... I can't wait to hold my new baby girl.

And so it begins...

I haven't been feeling well for a few weeks now. I did some labwork after Thanksgiving and got the test results yesterday. Around this time during my first pregnancy, I got put into the hospital with thyroid problems. For a diabetic, it poses a big risk and possibly coma. Last time I was almost in DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis, I think I spelled it right) before they found it. I need to have more labwork done. Pregnancy makes you a labrat as it is, this time the lab techs were joking that I should be getting paid for the time I spend in different labs. I agree! Anyway, it sucks. And while I know from last time that Jena will be perfectly okay, I don't know if I will and I wanna be around for my babies. Back to the lab again today.


While I was at work yesterday, this lady came to check out in my line. She didn't have much... 2 things. One thing was a bag of Palmers Minty Bells. And instantly I wanted to tear up. Memories just came flooding into my head at the sight of that bag. For years now, I search the Christmas candy aisles but only find the Peanut Butter bells and the milk chocolate bells. I bought the PB ones before but they didn't really do the trick so for the last 5 years, I stopped looking. And there they were. The customer noticed the look of surprise on my face and said "Yeah, I know! I haven't seen these in YEARS. And I wouldn't have if I didn't drop something on the floor." So I asked her where she got them from and she told me. I bought 2 bags last night. Why do these things mean so much to me? My dad ALWAYS bought them at Christmas time when we lived in Greece. He bought them once when we moved here, but they're a big memory of my dad and Greece. I always remembered them so vividly b/c I thought they were pretty. Minty Green top of the bell... chocolate bottom. Now I have 2 bags hidden away in my own stocking, I have something I've been searching for, for what seems like forever and now I can't stand to look at it. I guess for years I wanted to hand him one (not that he could eat it w/o melting it a bit)to tell him that I remember. And that I always have.



Oh well. Melancoly day here for me.....